From the woman who called off her wedding after her guests refused to pay her $1,500 attendance fee to the bride who fired a bridesmaid via email, there’s been plenty of cringe-worthy wedding stories to gawk at this year. But strap in, dear reader, because we think we just found the worst yet: the bride who set a $1,000 wedding dress code based on her guests’ weight.
In a recent Reddit post, one user shared a screenshot of a bride’s list of demands for her big day. The post starts out innocently enough, with the bride (whose name has been redacted) greeting guests and discussing her upcoming Hawaiian wedding. After announcing that she has picked out a dress code, she begins listing her outrageous wedding-day requirements for her guests.
“I am giving you a long notice of a year and a half so that you will have time to find and pick out something nice,” she writes. “The dress code is very specific because it will be used to create an incredible visual effect. If done right, it will make our synchronized dancing along the [redacted] beach really pop.”
In case you’re still giving her the benefit of the doubt (hey, most weddings have dress code requirements, right?), the next few sections should quickly change your mind. The bride proceeds to categorize the dress code by guests’ weight, and requesting a color scheme so bizarre we’re getting a headache trying to imagine it. The following is the exact dress code, as the bride writes in her post:
WOMEN (100-160 LBS)
-GREEN Velvet Sweater
-ORANGE Suede Pants
-Loubotin [sic] heels (the famous RED heeled shoes. when we spin and lift our feet, the effect will amaze you)
MEN (100-200 LBS)
-PURPLE Fuzzy Jacket
-All White Trainers
-Plain Glow Sticks
WOMEN (160 LBS+)
-all BLACK sweater and pants. Any material.
MEN (200 LBS+)
-all CAMOFLAGE [sic]
-RED from head to toe. Remember the kids will form the shape of a heart, it needs to be true red not blood orange or some bull****.”
There are so many nauseating aspects of the preceding paragraphs, we truly don’t know where to begin. What “visual effect” is she going for, exactly? What in the world is a soda hat? What non-military individual owns a head-to-toe camo outfit?
If you’re still with us after all of that, there’s one final kicker that will really put you over the edge. The bride added a final paragraph, finishing off her note with one last requirement: Everyone’s outfit needs to be valued at $1,000 or more. “Additionally, we will require that you wear formal attire after the dancing has ended. Please bring a change of clothing. Remember, the venue is extremely upscale, and we want to be looking our absolute BEST ladies and gents,” she writes. “Please, if you look like trash, so will we. All jokes aside, we want you to invest in an outfit valued at at least $1,000. This includes jewelry, accessories, makeup, and hair. Remember ladies and gents, this wedding is 24k themed for a reason.”
We’re not sure what part of “extremely upscale” involves camo and categorizing your wedding guests by weight—but hey, we weren’t invited to this “24k” wedding, so we guess we’ll never know.
See more: The Most Cringeworthy Brides of 2018