The Surprising Personality Trait That is Actually Super Sexy

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All hail the conscientious. Science says these people are better in bed.

Who knew Charlotte from Sex and The City was having better sex than any of us? According to new research, agreeability and spontaneity are out and formulating the best outcome of your next sex move is in.

A German study in the Journal of Sex Research found that conscientious people are actually having the best sex of all. The study looked at 964 (mostly heterosexual) couples, asking questions about certain personality traits and sexual function. The study focused on the “Big Five” personality traits and labeled participants therein. These main personality types include: extroversion, agreeableness, neuroticism, openness to experience, and conscientiousness.

It turns out those who plan ahead and exhibit actions of forward thinking function better sexually and report better overall sexual satisfaction. The conscientious among us are, by-and-large, coming more than everyone else—and making their partners come vastly more often, too.

Don’t ever @ us about the g-cal invite again, OK? We know what we’re doing.

What does conscientious even mean?

When we think of someone sexy, we think of a laid back, chill person who goes with the flow. Right? Maybe?

They probably have a good sense of humor and know how to give amazing head. A person who never has a dish in the sink and bleaches the shower once per week does not seem to fall within the bracket.

It may just be that we never thought of the sexual benefits of this kind of person before. Study author Julia Velten, of the Mental Health Research and Treatment Center at the Ruhr University in Bochum, says that science has neglected to measure the correlation between conscientiousness and sexual satisfaction until now. It looks like we just never considered it.

With so much focus on the lusty randomness that “good” sex is “supposed” to have, it’s no wonder we’d forget the hot AF Poindexters who know their way around a vulva better than they do a Rubik’s cube. OK, OK, we might be acting a little dramatic for effect. Don’t get us wrong here, being conscientious is not a bad thing at all. In fact, we are here for it.

A conscientious person is a planner. They are aware of what’s up in bed. They like what they like, when they like it. They know what you like and how you like it.

This is the person who sends the schedule for a weekend getaway ahead of time, is always early, and never, ever flakes on plans. You might not consider your friend who plans the brunch and has all the details in your inbox by Tuesday the sexiest of your friend group, but here we are.

Is your partner conscientious? Are they a rockstar in bed? This is no random coincidence!

Why is being a planner sexy?

The study notes that women with conscientious partners are the most likely to benefit between the sheets. We feel that. Think of it this way: Wouldn’t you want your partner to be a planner and forward thinker in bed? This is a person who knows what needs to happen to make you come. They are not brushing off any details.

A conscientious person will ask you what you want and what you like before doing any of those things. Their primary objective is to make you orgasm. They search for and decode the information they need to reach the goal. As The Independent’s Olivia Petter, puts is: “Planning intimacy in some way of form could contribute to better communication without judgement.” They want to talk about sex because a contentious person recognizes that communication is needed to make sex amazing.

While we may appreciate the artful wonder of spontaneity, it’s the conscientious person who can pull off the illusion of “animalistic passion” while having the whole thing laid out in their mind beforehand. If being aggressive and passionate is going to get you off, they already know that. How? Well, she did ask you what your fantasies were at dinner last week.

Honestly, the thought of someone planning out our lusty rendezvous before going forth is kind of sexy. Who doesn’t want to be the center of someone’s sex equation?

Gigi Engle is a certified sex coach, educator, and writer living in Chicago. Follow her on Instagram and Twitter at @GigiEngle.

Gigi Engle

The author Gigi Engle

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