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Jen Glantz

Wedding

How to Handle People Asking Why They Weren’t Invited to Your Wedding

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When it comes time to finalizing your wedding guest list and sending out save-the-dates or invitations, you’ll suddenly feel a giant weight lifted off your shoulders. Figuring out who to invite to your big day can cause a stress headache that takes a long time to kick. Whether you’re looking to keep your wedding under three digits or you just don’t want to invite certain people for personal reasons, coming to terms with who will be on the guest list and who will be left off will be a decision that will feel good to finalize.

But once people start to find out who is invited to your wedding and who has been taken off the list, you might be faced with people calling, texting, emailing, or asking you in real life—why they weren’t invited to your big day? Here are four ways to handle responding to those who weren’t asked to come celebrate your wedding with you.

1. Blame it on Size

If you decided to keep your wedding small, you can use that as the reason to tell people who might ask why they weren’t sent an invitation. Let those people know that they do mean a lot to you and you would love to celebrate this milestone in your life with them, just in a different way. Explain that inviting them to your wedding was just something you couldn’t do because of how small you decided to make it. Some people might not realize that your wedding is a small affair, so be honest about that if it’s the case and those who weren’t invited will start to feel not as left out.

2. Use Distance as a Reason

If you’ve decided to host your wedding in a far away city, let those guests know that you chose to do a destination wedding and decided to keep the guest list small. Because travel was an added factor placed on guests, let them know that you decided to invite fewer people so that you could have the wedding of your dreams in a certain location that you have always loved.

3. Let Them Know the Truth

If your wedding is neither small or at a far away location and you just decided you didn’t want that person at your wedding, you can explain to them the true reason why they didn’t get invited. Feel free to open up about the reason why you decided not to add them to your wedding guest list. If it’s something that’s better said in person, arrange a time to meet up and chat. If it’s a person that you’re not very close with, perhaps ask a family member or friend who is close with them to relay the message.

See more: What to Do If You Don’t Want to Invite Your Parents to Your Wedding

4. Decide to Handle It Post-Wedding

If you find that you’re getting overwhelmed with people reaching to find out why they were invited to your wedding and you’re not in the mood to handle it or give them an answer, then don’t. You can briefly let them know that there are some unresolved issues that you have with them or reasons that you want to discuss with them—after your wedding. Only make amends with people beforehand that you want to be there on your big day. If a person is asking you why they weren’t invited and you have a good reason for why they weren’t, either let them know on the spot or tell them that you’ll reach out to chat about it when the wedding is over. Doing so will keep your wedding as drama-free as possible.

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Wedding

4 Types of Wedding Venues That Will Entertain Your Guests (So You Don't Have To)

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Planning a wedding is enough work without having to take a few steps back and think about entertaining all your guests even during wedding-weekend downtime. Out-of-town guests might arrive a few days before your big day and be on the hunt for things to do around town. You might even have friends and family that make a vacation out of your wedding and look to you as their camp counselor and itinerary planner for the weekend.

To avoid having to put together scheduled activities for your guests or feel like you’re in charge of making sure they have fun all weekend long, here are four types of wedding venues to pick from that will leave you worry-free about whether or not your guests are having a good time.

An Activity Packed Resort

If you’re looking to go with more of a traditional wedding venue, select a property that not only has a beautiful ballroom for you to get married in, but has lots of activities around the resort that your guests can do again and again to relax, have fun, and feel like they are on vacation during your wedding weekend.

Lindsey Kurtz, director of catering sales at Omni Orlando Resort at ChampionsGate, says that at her property, they have a team of professionals on-site to make sure that every guest has a fantastic experience, that way it’s not just the couple’s job to entertain.

Kurtz says that the Omni Orlando Resort at ChampionsGate offers a golf resort and spa, a wave pool, a lazy river, cabanas, and is driving distance to Disney World, Sea World, and Universal.

A Theme Park

While at first it might seem like a very out-of-the-box wedding venue, a theme park or a local attraction can make for an exciting place to have your wedding, especially if guests are allowed access to the property before the wedding or after for no additional charge.

Stevi Bramich, from Mystic Aquarium in Connecticut, says that your guests have access to many of the aquarium’s exhibits, like the California sea lines, stingrays and jellies, and the opportunity to watch beluga whales swim during cocktail hour.

The Great Outdoors

One of the simplest ways to make sure your guests have a to-do list that will keep them occupied throughout your wedding weekend is to pick a place rooted in the great outdoors, where they can go for a bike ride, take a hike, or swim in an ocean or lake.

Brooke Spanjian, of the Inn at Weathersfield, says that guests can take a covered bridge tour, go on a brewery tour, berry pick at a local farm, kayak or snowmobile during the winter, all before or after the wedding happens.

See more: 8 Destination-Wedding Resorts With Activities Your Guests Will Love

An Historic Castle

Another alternative for a venue that will make you feel like part of the royal family and will keep your guests occupied exploring for days, is to get married at a castle.

Sydney Masters, from Kilkea Castle, a 12th century fortress and estate, says that guests can spend their downtime before the wedding takes place, going golfing, fishing, doing archery, going horseback riding, skeet shooting, or visiting a history Irish brewery.

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Wedding

Crazy Wedding DJ Requests You Just Won’t Believe

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Weddings can truly be the party of a lifetime, especially when unique things happen that guests may have never seen anywhere else. But if you look at a wedding through the eyes of different wedding vendors, who are consistently at weddings almost every single weekend, the things they see can top just about any crazy story you’ve ever heard. One wedding vendor in particular—wedding DJs—often sit down with the couple before the wedding to talk through musical details, i.e. what will be their first dance song, if they will do dances with their parents, and what time speeches will be. But for some DJs, the conversations have taken quite a weird turns over the years.

Here are four of the craziest wedding DJ requests from brides and grooms that are so odd you just won’t believe them to be true.

An End of the Night Strip Tease

“At the end of the final meeting between myself, the bride, groom and her parents, the bride and groom said that there’s one last thing that we must discuss. It’s become a tradition that at every wedding the groom attends, that he performs a strip tease. Right down to his boxers. Taken aback, I ask if everyone is on-board with this, and everyone, including the bride’s parents are all good. And with that, I agree to do it.” – Michael Coombs, DJ at Michael Coombs Entertainment 

A Mother of the Bride Extreme Entrance

“We once had a Mother of the Bride insist on making an overly dramatic entrance for her reception welcome speech. It started with having us fill the space with copious amounts of fog and then for her to sneak up from behind the scenes and ‘suddenly appear’ in the clearing haze, all to the Phantom of the Opera theme song booming throughout the ballroom.” – Martin Ramirez, DJ for Historic Mankin Mansion Wedding Resort

A Full-On Performance

“Hands down, I worked the craziest, most non-traditional wedding ever in Brooklyn. The couple asked me to play the ‘Love Theme’ from Superman (groom) and ‘Jurassic Park Theme’ as they walked down the aisle. They also had a surprise flash mob, which was a choreographed dance to Backstreet Boy’s “Everybody” and throughout the night, there were five performances of comedy, music, and full-on puppetry by friends.” – Brent Fierro, a Brooklyn-Based DJ

See more: 50 Questions to Ask Wedding DJs and Bands

A Few Inappropriate Song Requests

“We once had a request for a Hip Hop song called ‘I Hate You Bit*h’ and one of the guests told us the name of the person he wanted it dedicated to (apparently she was there). I politely told him, ‘I’m sorry, I can’t do that. I can only play clean versions and though I have the clean version, I can’t make that dedication.’ I decided to avoid it all together and not play it at all.  We also have gotten a request from a bride, who wanted to hear ‘Pus*y Control’ by Prince. She and her significant other argued about us playing it, but since she was the bride, I had to play it. She danced and sang along the whole time.” – Jason Rubio, founder and co-owner of Austin’s Best DJs & Photo Booths

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Wedding

7 Tweets That Sum Up the Drama of Being a Bridesmaid

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Being a bridesmaid will, at first, feel like a super exciting honor. Even if you’ve been a bridesmaid practically a dozen times, it will still be lovely to have someone in your life ask you to stand by their side on this momentous day.

At first, being a bridesmaid will feel like a ton of fun. You’ll daydream about what kind of dress you’ll get to wear and what cool style you’ll do your hair in. You might even spend time figuring out a fun wedding hashtag for the bride or researching the best places to vacation for a weekend getaway bachelorette party. But after some time, you’ll notice that your to-do list is pilling up and the amount of money you’re spending is starting to make a large hole in your checking account.

If you’ve ever wondered what it’s like to be a bridesmaid, check out these seven tweets that perfectly sum up the drama of being one of the members of the bride’s wedding squad.

1. Figuring Out How to Feel Good in a Bridesmaid Dress

One of the biggest headaches of being a bridesmaid comes in the form of having to wear a bridesmaid dress that seemingly looks good on nobody except the woman who modeled it on the brand’s website. When you’re faced with how to look good and feel confident in a dress style and color that you didn’t pick out, you’ll find yourself reaching for every fashion trick possible, including special undergarments.

2. Finding Yourself Unexpectedly Upset That You Weren’t Asked to Be the Maid of Honor

Being a bridesmaid can feel a bit awkward, especially if you thought the bride would have tapped you to be her MOH. While you might feel like just being another member of her wedding party isn’t as good of an honor, just look at all of the tasks someone else gets to do while you get to sit back, semi-relax, and enjoy more of the wedding.

3. Wondering Why You Have So Many Responsibilities

When you start to eyeball all of the tasks you have to accomplish as a bridesmaid, you might begin to wonder why you’re in charge of things like taking the bride to get her nails done before the wedding or being the point person for the wedding-day transportation. Being a bridesmaid will quickly start to feel like a full time job that hasn’t given you the raise or promotion you desperately deserve.

4. Realizing Being a Bridesmaid is So Much Money

If you’re finding yourself slowly becoming “always the bridesmaid” make sure that you set a firm budget for how much cash you will spend on each of the weddings you’ll be in. If not, you might not realize that you’re spending over $1,000 on items like clothing, travel, and gifts, that seem to drain your wallet faster than you ever imagined they would.

5. Going Bridezilla Even When You’re Not the Bride

There’s a lot of pressure on a person when they are a bridesmaid. You’ll be responsible to be there for the bride and be there on time. So if you’re traveling for the wedding or you find out that your dress won’t be altered in time, you might notice a bit of a bridezilla attitude come out to play.

6. Looking Like a Clown with Your Bridesmaid Style

If you find yourself as a bridesmaid for a bride that wants every single one of her bridesmaids to look alike, from their hair to their toenail polish, you might find yourself ending the wedding night with a ridiculous hairstyle or a face of makeup that makes you look more like a clown than a bridesmaid in a wedding.

See more: The Zero-Drama Guide to Bridesmaids

7. Realizing Being a Bridesmaid Keeps You On Your Toes

Being a bridesmaid is one of the most interesting, and at times, stressful jobs that you will ever take on as a friend for someone. When you find yourself feeling overwhelmed by the process, take a step back and realize that it will eventually come to an end at the wedding reception, where there will be an open bar, a plate of good food, and a whole lot of wedding cake to celebrate with.

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Wedding

8 Big Marriage Proposal Mistakes You Can't Afford to Make

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Planning the perfect proposal can often feel as stressful as planning an entire wedding. A proposal is a moment that both you and your future fiancé have dreamt of for a very long time. Some people will hint about how they’d like to be proposed to and others will cross their fingers and pray to the universe that their partner can read their mind and do it just like they always imagined.

If you’re in the planning stages of the proposal and deciding what you should do, it’s also important to take mental note of all of the things you shouldn’t do when popping the question. Make sure you double check that you remember these 8 big marriage proposal mistakes so they don’t happen during your memorable engagement moment.

1. Skipping a Game Plan

If your proposal game plan is to just wing it, it might be time to reconsider. Popping the question should have some thought behind it. You may be setting yourself up for unwanted tears from your partner or a super awkward moment that sets both you and your partner up for feeling uncomfortable. Spend time thinking through how you want to propose, where you want to do it, and of course, what you will say.

2. Asking for too Much Advice

But be careful to not plan too much. It might be tempting to want to ask each and every friend and family member of your partner for their advice in how you should propose. You’ll be left with a handful of opinions and a massive headache trying to figure out what to do. Instead, ask a maximum of three people, and pick and chose parts from their responses when planning your proposal idea.

3. Overcomplicating the Whole Thing

Nerves fly high during any proposal and in order to make sure it goes smoothly, keep it relatively simple. If you’re incorporating a lot of different things or people (like a flash mob or a scavenger hunt) make sure that you practice beforehand so that it won’t be extra stressful making sure everything comes together in the moment.

4. Doing it the Very Wrong Way

Think about the kind of person your fiancé is when you’re planning the engagement. If they are naturally shy and introverted, you might not want to propose on a giant billboard or on the Jumbotron at a sports game. If they are the kind of person that likes romance and big gestures, you might not want to propose while you’re both in your pajamas sitting on the couch.

5. Forgetting the Ring

It might be obvious but in case it skips your mind, bring the engagement ring with you when you propose! Make sure you have it sized for your future fiancé and that you keep it in a safe spot so that when you’re ready to pop the question, you can easily have access to the ring.

6. Not Having It Documented

Before you propose, consider whether or not you want to hire a photographer or videographer (even if it’s a family member or friend with an iPhone) to be secretly capturing the engagement. Since it’s a moment that will only happen once and and you’ll probably both be nervous, it might be a good idea to invest in a service where they are able to get the best photos and videos of the moment.

7. Letting Your Nerves Get in the Way

Since you’ll find yourself extra nervous on the proposal day, make an effort to avoid showing those nerves to your partner. Try not to be around them when you’re getting anxious or else they might pick up on what’s about to happen and the surprise will be compromised.

See more: 7 Smart Things to Do When You Know a Proposal Is Coming

8. Leaving too Many Clues Around

If your partner is adamant about being surprised during the proposal, work overtime to make sure that you didn’t leave any clues around. Hide the ring in a safe spot that they won’t come across and make sure you don’t have conversations about the proposal with anyone who might leak that information to your partner.

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Wedding

5 Drama Free Ways to Announce Your Engagement

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Spend as much time as you possibly can enjoying the moment you got engaged. Daydream about what it was like, celebrate over and over again with your fiancé, and make sure that you take the time to rest and relax before diving into wedding planning. Which means that after you get engaged, ignore the feeling of wondering if you have to share the news with every single person that you know.

While you might see other people post about their engagement all over their social media feed in what feels like seconds after it happens, you don’t have to do that. You may tell people in your life in small doses or keep it entirely private. If you’re pondering how to announce your engagement without any drama creeping in, here are five ways to do just that.

1. Tell Your Immediate Crew First

The easiest way to stop drama in its tracks is to let your closest friends and family members know that you’re engaged before telling the entire world. After you and your fiancé have taken some one-on-one time to enjoy the moment, find a special way to tell your crew. You can choose to gather them all together and tell them all at once or let each of them know individually. If you go with the second route, make sure you tell them one after another so that they all find out on the same day and don’t feel left out.

2. Talk Through the Potential Drama First

While it’s probably not at the top of your post-engagement to-do list and it probably is a major buzzkill, talk with your fiancé about any potential drama that might surround announcing your engagement. Do you have a friend whose wedding is the next day? Will they be mad if you announce your engagement so close to their big day? Are there certain people you want to hide the engagement from so they don’t try to crash the wedding or send you rude messages? Are there certain people you need to tell ASAP that you’re engaged before the news starts spreading and they get offended? Chat about any possible situations before you plan how you’re going to announce your engagement.

3. Schedule Your Social Posts

If you’re planning on posting something on social media, spend the time to make it unique and personal to you and your fiancé. Share the story of how the question was popped and the emotions behind your response. Plan to share the news on social media during a time that you can take in all of the comments and messages in doses—that way you won’t be overwhelmed with tons of congratulatory comments, messages, and people already reaching out and offering unwarranted wedding advice.

4. Go Offline After You Announce

Once the news is public and you’ve spread your engagement bliss on social media, you may want to spend a few days detached from social media so that you don’t get pulled into a spiral of comments and suggestions about your wedding from friends and family members and can instead enjoy time with your fiancé. To avoid the drama that comes with posting about your engagement online, you might decide to tell people only in real life or through phone calls, and that’s it. That way, you don’t have a ton of semi-friends, but mostly acquaintances, knowing about your engagement.

See more: 7 Creative Ways to Tell Your Family You Got Engaged

5. Keep it Private

The easiest way to avoid all the drama around your new engagement is to keep it almost entirely private. Share the news with your nearest and dearest friends and family members, but only when you’re ready to do so. If you’re planning on having a tiny wedding, you might just keep the entire ordeal private. If you want to have a wedding with a lot of guests, it’s okay to announce your engagement to guests when you send out a save the date.

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Wedding

Is it OK to Skip Having a Wedding Ceremony?

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As you start thinking about everything you want to have at your wedding, it may be tempting to follow trends just because you feel you have to. You’ll immediately say yes to having a cocktail hour, party favors, or even a donut wall, just because you’ve seen it at other weddings. But the truth is, your wedding should be filled with decorations and traditions that represent who you are as a couple and not what people in the past have done.

Take the ceremony, for example. There’s no rule that you have to have one at your wedding. You can instead invite guests to a reception and either completely skip having a formal ceremony or do something a bit different. If you’re looking to get rid of doing a 30 minute or even hour-long ceremony, here are four things you can do instead of having a wedding ceremony.

1. Come Up with a Plan

When it’s decision time, sit down with your fiancé and discuss what your ideal wedding day would look like. Write down the structure that you feel works best for you and not just what you’ve seen other people do. When you are thinking about whether or not to have a ceremony, think about the timing of the rest of the wedding. Will you do a longer party instead or just make your formal wedding an hour shorter and throw an after party?

2. Consider Doing Something Private

Before anything else, you might want to evaluate what kind of couple you are. If you’re both naturally very private people or people who don’t love attention, the idea of having a public ceremony might be too much to handle. Instead, you can do a secret ceremony between the two of you and an officiant, or just a little celebration after you sign your marriage license.

3. Have a Ceremony for VIP Guests

If having a ceremony seems tempting but having a huge crowd of people there seems scary, think about doing a ceremony before your wedding, whether days before or on the same day that’s only open to VIP guests. Plan a small ceremony and only invite your closest family and friends to come to it. When you create invitations, make that distinction so guests you want at your ceremony know where to be and guests you just want at your reception know when to arrive.

See more: How to Plan Your Wedding Day and Reception Timeline

4. Make it Clear to Your Guests What’s Happening

Since most people heading to a wedding do expect a ceremony, make sure it’s very clear to your guests that there won’t be a ceremony happening. If you’re doing a cocktail hour, let them know that and what time to arrive. If you’re jumping right into the party, let them know that so that they know they shouldn’t arrive 30 minutes late because they’ll miss dinner and the beginning of the set list from your band or your DJ. Expect that your guests will want to know why you and your fiancé have decided to ditch the ceremony aspect of the wedding, so prepare an answer ahead of time. That way, you won’t be caught off guard when relatives and friends ask you on your wedding day.

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Wedding

Is It OK to Write Your Fiancé’s Vows For Them?

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One of the most intimate and tear-jerking parts of any wedding is the reading of the vows. The art of reading your vows in front of a group of your nearest and dearest family members and friend, is a chunk of your wedding that will be forever memorable for those in attendance, but especially for you and the person you’re marrying.

When it comes to figuring out what to include in your vows, you might find that either you or your partner are swamped with the feeling of writer’s block, and may be finding it a great deal harder than usual pen the words in your heart. You might even find yourself a bit nervous that your partner won’t take writing vows seriously and instead, either make them very short or very inappropriate, filling the page with what feels like a comedy skit.

So is it okay to write your fiancé’s vows in order to make sure they are exactly how you want them to be? The simple answer is no. Instead of stealing their pen and paper, use these four suggestions to make sure you’re not caught off guard or disappointed during the wedding ceremony.

Give Guidance

Writing vows can be a tough thing to do especially if the person writing them doesn’t take to writing (or public speaking) naturally. When you get the urge to write them for your partner, instead, share some guidance. You can explain that your vows are two minutes long, should include specific promises, and have a selection of your favorite memories as a couple. Sharing that information will help your fiancé understand what the structure of their vows should be, that way they don’t show up with vows that are two sentences long.

Ask a Friend for Help

Enlist the help of a trusted friend who can help your fiancé write their vows. Pick someone who knows both of you well and who either likes to write or has been to enough weddings that they can practically recall the structure of how vows are written in their sleep. After they are written, you can have the friend read your vows and your fiancé’s vows to make sure they are equal in length, not repetitive, and don’t include anything that the other person would be offended by.

Show Lots of Examples

Do some research for your fiancé. Provide them with sample vows that you found on the internet or that you heard another friend of yours give. Having examples in front of you always helps make the writing process easier, especially if you’re nervous about what your fiancé will come up with. Chose examples that are similar in structure and length so that you give your partner a good and consistent benchmark for what you’re hoping they write.

See more: Traditional Wedding Vows Need a MAJOR Update

Consider Ditching Vows

If your fiancé is making it obvious that they either have no interest in writing their own vows or that they are going to do anything but take it seriously, you might want to either ditch having vows in your ceremony lineup or read traditional ones that are the same for both of you. If you’ve already written your vows and are okay with not saying personalized vows during the ceremony, you don’t have to rip up the ones you wrote. Put those vows in a card that you give your fiancé before the ceremony starts.

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Maldives-Holiday

What Your Groom-to-Be Doesn’t Want You to Know

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One of the many skills you might start wishing that you could have as you dive into wedding planning, is the ability to read minds. If only you could look at a person (say, the person you’re marrying) and know exactly what they are thinking, hoping for, or nervous about. Since you can’t just tap into the inner workings of their brain and instead must rely on what they tell you, it might be helpful to get a glimpse of what other grooms are thinking, but don’t want you to know.

Check out this list of what your groom-to-be is probably feeling but doesn’t want you to know.

He’s Filled with Nerves

Notice how nervous you are for the big day, how your palms begin to sweat when you imagine walking down the aisle and your heart shakes when you think about all the ways you hope your big day will go on without any hiccups. Even if your fiancé is acting mighty tough, your person is also feeling nerves. Whether or not they will admit it, there’s a list of things making that person nervous. Instead of forcing them to tell you what’s on that list, be open and honest about the things making you anxious and see if your partner is willing to open up.

He’s Wondering “What If?”

There’s a lot going through your fiancé’s head and a lot of those “things” are questions of what if? What if you don’t show up at the altar? What if getting married means losing your identity? What if your wedding is filled with drama between guests? Chances are when he thinks about the wedding, he thinks about some of the what ifs that crowd his mind and they might just be very similar to the ones you think about, too.

Money Really Matters

Figuring out who is shelling out all of the cash for a wedding can be a bit stressful. Even if you and your fiancé decided to pay for it out of your own account doesn’t mean that he’s okay with how much this is costing. He might tell you that It doesn’t bug him, but in the back of his head, he’s thinking of all the ways this is going to hurt your joint back account in the future and whether or not spending a couple of thousand dollars on flowers is really worth it.

He Hopes He Doesn’t Mess Up

While it might seem like your groom doesn’t have a ton of responsibilities on the big day, there’s a secret fear of messing up. What if he forgets his vows at home? Chokes up on the dance floor? Gets too drunk with his friends in the morning and shows up for the wedding hungover? While he might seem worry free, there are things he is working overtime on to make sure he does completely right for you on the big day.

See more: What to Do if Your Groom Is Way More into Wedding Planning Than You

He Doesn’t Know What to Expect

If your groom is doing a great job of calming your nerves and reminding you how special this day will really be, he’s hoping that you don’t realize he is also in the same boat of not really knowing what to expect. It’s hard to predict how a wedding day will go and if your groom hasn’t been to too many weddings or involved in the wedding planning process, he certainly doesn’t want you to know that he’s a rookie at figuring out this whole wedding day protocol thing.

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Maldives-Holiday

7 Tips to Keep Your Wedding Day Drama and Stress-Free

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The very last thing you hope will be present at your wedding is drama. Since weddings are a moment in people’s lives where the majority of people they know come together to celebrate them, drama can seep through and come out to play, especially if it already exists between certain groups of people.

If you’re looking to take action before your big day arrives to make sure that your wedding is 100% drama free, here are seven things you can work on doing as soon as possible.

A Strategic Seating Chart

Spend quality time with your fiancé by identifying the people who you feel should stay away from each other at the wedding. Make sure certain groups of people are seated far away from each other, or if they have to be at the table, tell other people at the table to work hard to make sure they keep their peace with one another. If you’re eager to make sure you have eyes and ears on all the drama with your friends and family members, ask a few of them to let you know if there are any specific people you should separate, so you know what drama is alive and well before your wedding day comes around.

A Plethora of Activities

Keep your guests busy. The less time they have to sit around a hotel with one another brainstorming things they can do to keep busy before the wedding the less time they will have to stir up drama. Set them up with an itinerary of places they can go around the local town and activities they can chose if they want to add a little more action into their weekend plans.

Someone to Manage Your Phone

You will notice that on your wedding weekend, even though you gave your guests a full itinerary and instructions for where to be and when, they will still be hitting up your phone with questions galore. Pass your phone over to someone you trust so that they can manage the incoming texts and calls without you getting frustrated.

A Hiding Spot

You and your fiancé should have a designated hiding spot in your wedding venue that you two can go to for some quiet alone time. If drama does happen at your wedding or you just feel like it would be a good time to have a chat with your fiancé, having a pre-planned secret spot to meet will make it easier for you to communicate on the day-of.

Extra Communication with Your Partner

Even if there’s drama happening around you with your friends and family members, be sure to make a pact with your fiancé that you two will make sure the day is drama-free for one another. Talking about potential issues before they happen on the wedding day is the best way to make sure nothing gets in between you two on the most special day ever.

Warning Chats with Your Problematic Guests

If you and your fiancé already have a list of people you are crossing your fingers will behave at your wedding and not stir up any drama, it’s worth it to have a conversation with them before the big day. Ask them nicely to not start any problems with people or to bring up unresolved situations with other guests that may also be present. In addition to asking them not to do or say certain things, give them a friendly reminder of how much this day means to you and your fiancé and their support would mean the world.

See more: The Zero-Drama Guide to Bridesmaids

A Care-Free Attitude

The final thing you and your fiancé can do to make sure that neither of you are bogged down by wedding drama is to adopt a care-free attitude. Accept that drama might flood your wedding and if it does, you won’t let it get to you or stop you from having the kind of night both of you deserve. But it doesn’t mean that the day after the wedding, you can’t lose your cool on the guests that decided to make your wedding feel like an episode of The Real Housewives.

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How to Get Along With a Disappointing Wedding Vendor

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When you’re planning a wedding, you want the people who surround you to feel like they are all on your team, share your excitement, and are there to help you make your wedding day an event that’s unforgettable (for all of the right reasons). That’s why you ask your closest friends to be a part of your wedding party and you turn your reliable and trustworthy family members to help you check items off your to-do list before the big day arrives. It’s also why you spend a lot of quality time researching wedding vendors so that you pick a team of professionals who can execute the vision you have been dreaming about for years.

Even if you read reviews of your vendors and meet them in person multiple times before signing a contract to work with them, it doesn’t mean that once the planning begins there won’t be hiccups along the way or even disagreements that stem from expectations gone awry. Wondering how to get along with a wedding vendor that you can no longer stand? Here are four ways to get through the wedding process without letting any of your vendors stress you out anymore than they already have.

Make Your Fiancé the Point Person

If there’s a wedding vendor that you just can’t seem to communicate well with anymore, it might be time to turn your fiancé into their point person. Perhaps you just find yourself getting extra annoyed when talking to them or they just don’t seem to understand your requests clearly. It might be time for you to change up the person they are speaking to and let your fiancé try their luck. If you decide to do this, fill your fiancé in on as many details as you can so that they are up to speed when reaching out to this vendor. That way, details won’t be lost along the way.

Ask to Deal with Another Person at the Company

In the end, your wedding vendors should feel like they are one of your good friends, but they also have a job to do, and if the person you’re working with just isn’t doing their job or communicating with you in the way you need them to, it might be time to contact the company and see if there’s another person there you can work with. You shouldn’t be all twisted up inside when talking to a vendor.

Have a Real Conversation with That Vendor

Communication is key in any relationship, even the ones you have with your wedding vendors. If you find that you’re butting heads with a specific vendor, sit down with them and have an honest conversation. You’re going to be working very closely with them over a period of time and want to make sure that it goes smoothly. If it’s not, have that chat with them so that you can bring up what you’d like changed and fixed so that the working relationship can run smoothly.

See more: 33 Tips for a Bride Planning Her Own Wedding

Find Out What the Damage Would Be to Break Up

If you just feel like a certain wedding vendor is making you wish you ditched the entire idea of a wedding and eloped instead, see what it would cost you to end your contract with them. Review the details of the contract and see if there’s anything in there that says you can leave and get your money back if the vendor performs in the way they are performing or see if there’s a certain timeframe that you have to leave before you lose your deposit. If you’re close to your wedding, see how much it would cost you to leave that vendor and find someone else to take their place. Then determine if the cost is worth it to you and your frustration levels.

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