How do you know that you’ve found the one? Chances are it’s because you’re dating someone completely different from any of your ex’s or they’ve gotten you to care less about Netflix binging and more about spending quality time with them.
But how do you know you want to marry someone? Usually, it’s when we find someone who makes us ditch our bad habits and become better at being in a relationship than just being solo. That’s when you start to realize that your partner is someone you could, and should, spend the rest of your life with.
That’s what these 10 people below share as they open up about the signs that let them know they had found the one and why they realized their partner was marriage material.
1. They Make Me Less Stubborn
“My girlfriend is the only person in the world who accepts how stubborn I am but also has a way of getting me to stop being stubborn. I realized she was marriage material when I found myself giving into her suggestions without putting up a fight. I think she’s definitely smarter than I am so when I got to know her I just decided to trust her opinions instead of being so hard headed. Rarely has it been a bad decision.” —Troy G.,29
2. They Pay Attention to Me in Bed
“So many of the women I slept with only cared about themselves in bed. Everything was about them. The first time I slept with my wife, she asked what she could do to make me feel good. It was a question that lit this lightbulb in my head and made me think, ‘Oh, I think I’ve found the one.’” —Eric E., 31
3. I Never Grow Tired of Them
“Every guy I’ve ever dated made me bored by month three. It was like clockwork. We’d be having fun and then I’d start to grow tired of them. Everything they did, all their quirks, would make me start to grow tired of them. I’d break things off before we hit month four. As I was dating my now husband, I got really nervous when we hit three months together. But I felt different for him than I’ve ever felt. He kept things interesting. The next thing I knew, we were dating for 9 months and then two years. We’ve been married now for three years.” —Slyvia P., 33
4. They Treat Me Like My Mother
“Is there a saying that you should find a girl who takes care of you like your mom does? Because that’s how my girlfriend treats me and it’s making me put a ring on her finger. I never dated someone who took care of me, who made sure that life was easy, which is what my mom does for me. It sounds weird to say I’m dating a girl like my mom. But I am and I’m asking her to marry me next month.” —Sal W., 28
5. They Have Substance
“I got used to dating these women who were so basic. They’d talk about surface level things like their job, things they saw on social media, or the bars around town they spent time at. I seriously dated one person for almost a year until I realized I knew nothing about her. My wife was the first person I dated where on date one, we talked about real stuff. I knew she had substance to her when she said she volunteered at a dog adoption spot, didn’t watch TV but read a lot of books, and had a strong political stance. Talking to her was fun and it made me care about new topics. I knew she was different from most women out there and I felt lucky to have her in my life. It was an easy choice to propose and make her my wife.” —Greg P., 31
6. They Don’t Put Out and Leave
“I felt like most guys I dated would hook up with me and then leave. When I started dating my boyfriend, he said he wanted to wait to even have sex until we knew each other well. We waited for two months to finally do it. What I liked about that was that he proved to me he was serious about this relationship and not just about getting some and then leaving. It made our relationship start off on a good foundation of respect and trust. I knew from the start he’s someone I want to spend my life with.”—Wendy S., 35
7. I Actually Cared About Them
“I can be pretty selfish and into my own ego. In most of my prior relationships, I didn’t care too much about the other person. It was almost like they were there to be my accessory. But seriously all of that changed two years ago when I met my girlfriend. When we started dating, at first, I didn’t care a lot about her or the relationship. But I swear, she has this magic spark or something where I fell hard for her and I find that I care about her more than me. Like when she’s sick or needs my help, I don’t lie and say I’m busy. I show up and do whatever I can to make her feel better or be happy. That’s true love.” —Rick G., 26
8. They Broke My Heart
“She dumped me and that’s when I knew she was the one I wanted to marry. Maybe I love the chase. Maybe I drama. Whatever it was, right after she dumped me, I campaigned hard to get her back. I bought a ring, showed up at her door, and told her I wanted her to be my wife. For some reason, the girl who dumped me and broke my heart, said yes, and became my wife. Ladies, break up with your man. They’ll come crawling back hard if they really think you’re marriage material!” —Joey S. 34
9. They Were Serious About Their Future
“I remember on like date three or four, my husband started talking about the future (not with me or anything but more so just what he wanted). He told me he’s working hard now to save money so he can start a family later. He laid out the plans he had and I found it sexy. It was a big change meeting someone who took family and finances seriously. From that date on I knew he could be the one I settled down with.” —Yvonne D., 31
10. My Therapist Told Me
“I honestly didn’t know my girlfriend was marriage material. My therapist kept telling me to open my eyes and not let her go with my usual antics. I usually push people away and get scared of commitment. I’ve dated people before for years and never proposed. My therapist gets a major shoutout because now I’m engaged to the right person and it’s only because I got a little help in seeing that I was already dating the one I’m supposed to spend my life with.” — Ryan Y., 32